If we come into this world with a purpose, mine was to heal. The whole journey’s been all about it.
When I was fourteen I became ill with a strange virus that had no known cure. I spent my teen years going to doctors and specialists while struggling with severe fatigue, brain fog, and mysterious symptoms of all kinds, along with increasingly debilitating depression.
I sought out both the best of western medicine, and soon became a passionate seeker of alternative and holistic healing practices. My whole life felt like a search to somehow solve this puzzle and be okay.
Instead, a series of traumatic events crashed me further down. At twenty eight, hitting rock bottom, I went on antidepressant medication to be able to keep functioning. And the meds helped me get through; and I continued the endless search for wellness and wholeness.
On the medication, I could function much better; and yet it masked the struggle beneath the surface. Even though outwardly things appeared to be working, and people saw me as successful and accomplished, I often felt lost, abandoned in a body that didn’t make sense, unable to find answers, hopeless and alone.
The Professional Path
Meanwhile, even while going through my own journey, I made my living helping others heal. I studied bodywork, energy work, and NLP, and spent a decade running a busy and thriving private practice specializing in Myofascial Release.
I loved working with my bodywork clients. I found it deeply rewarding to be able to help people move out of tension and pain and live fuller, richer lives.
But as passionate as I was about offering the highest quality bodywork, I kept being led to the awareness that, ultimately, the deepest healing was happening at a different level. Where the mind, body, and spirit intersect; and where our emotions, thoughts, experiences, and body states all interplay and influence each other. And my search for answers about how to help my clients truly heal in deeper ways, was matched by the intensity of my inward path.
The Dark Night
After fourteen years of living on antidepressants, having done immense amounts of work to improve my immune system and be at my best possible health, I decided to go off of the medication.
I embarked on what turned out to be a journey that was harrowing beyond description. My body reacted with severe withdrawal symptoms, and I didn’t know if I would make it through. I struggled to find some kind of balance as I daily faced down debilitating panic attacks, deep and relentless agitation, and extreme bizarre sensations in my body that were borderline unbearable.
I felt stuck in what seemed to be an eternity of pain, feeling like something was deeply wrong with me because my body and mind seemed unable to heal.
And while the journey was extreme, it led to a remarkable and transformational healing process.
After a year and a half of intense struggle, there was finally a turnaround. There were three primary pieces to the total shift.
The first was plant medicine, in the form of CBD oil.
The second involved a total dietary overhaul that was different from anything I’d heard of and was completely not what I expected…. but it worked. Following Anthony William’s plant based protocol that targeted the Ebstein-Barr Virus, along with the other pathogens and toxins that had plagued my system for decades, I found my body finally healing from so many of the strange symptoms which I’d spent decades looking for answers for.
And the third piece was healing my nervous system and releasing trauma at the body level.
Our bodies hold the memories of what we’ve experienced; and mine had stored layers upon layers of tension, stress, trauma, and pain. And in spite of endless healing work and therapy that I’d done, the trauma of the past was still affecting me in the present.
I discovered a type of work called Somatic Experiencing, and the work of brilliant minds like Dr. Peter Levine and Bessell Van Der Kolk. I learned how when we release and heal on a nervous system level, those responses to the old stress patterning can shift for good. And I embarked on a path of healing my nervous system and releasing old trauma patterning.
And miraculously, I found that this nervous system healing led to deep change in the way my body functioned. I was able to heal my overtaxed adrenals, calm the extreme fight/ flight reactions, move out of the deep freeze that my body had been operating in, and allow the body to feel safe in the present (perhaps for the first time ever).
And this new safety patterning allowed me to move into unconditional love for myself, allowing grace and space for life’s trials while staying present, connected, and deeply attuned.
Coming to the end of the tunnel felt like waking up from a bad dream (A long one).
And I knew that as soon as I was able, I’d be studying nervous system healing and body-based trauma release so I could bring this transformational work to the world. (And I did).
If you want to hear the full story of my journey, it’s on the first two episodes of my podcast here.
But here’s the bottom line: at 46 I’m beyond grateful to be in the best health of my life, finally getting to experience living with all the energy I need and feeling blissfully alive and good in my body as a new normal.
I’m medication free, have quit coffee and stimulants, and have completely healed a vast range of symptoms including chronic fatigue, brain fog, extremely painful periods, adrenal exhaustion, chronic ear infections, tinnitus, and vertigo.
And, not for nothing, I’ve also fully healed from the depression that had plagued me for years.
Perhaps we go through things so we can deepen, share, and help others. And,when I experienced the power of nervous system healing and body-based trauma release as a major part of my own journey, I knew I had found a piece of the puzzle that I needed to share. I knew the world needed this deep healing to address both the individual and collective trauma that we carry.
Today I combine Somatic Experiencing, Energy Work, and my own mindfulness and somatic practices gained through three decades of both study and personal experience. I work with conscious, spiritual folks who want to be fully empowered in their bodies and live your most joy-filled, embodied, and heart-centered life. I help you release tension for good, heal your adrenals, come out of fight/ flight, release stress and trauma from the body, and connect deeply with your own body’s intuition and wisdom… so you can live your fullest expression of your life path.
Contact me here.